Erma Bombeck Writing Competition  

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"Hook 'em with the lead. Hold 'em with laughter. Exit with a quip they won't forget." ˜ Erma Bombeck
The Erma Bombeck Writing Competition opens on December 2, 2025, at 8 A.M. (EST)!

2016  - Humor - Global

"The Pupsicle" - Written By: Karen Hamilton - Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Putting the dog in the freezer seemed like a good idea at the time. Zip passed away peacefully in his sleep one afternoon last November while resting on his bed in the family room. He was an older dog who slept there often and if it hadn’t been for the fact that it was vacuuming day and I needed to get under his bed, it might have taken us another week or so to realize he was gone.

We got Zip as a puppy when the children were young. I’d read somewhere that children with pets have less anxiety and judging by the way our daughters never stressed themselves with feeding or walking or cleaning up after Zip, I’d have to say that’s true.

The kids were the reason Zip ended up in the freezer. Our eldest daughter was away at college when he died and I felt it was important we hold off on the funeral until she could be there. Since that would be at least another month, when she was due to come home for Christmas, dealing with the body presented a problem. Luckily I remembered a friend telling me how she had kept her son’s deceased pet in the freezer all winter long until it could be buried at their cottage when they opened it up in the spring. I decided to follow suit but as it turns out, there’s a world of difference between a hamster and a standard poodle when it comes to cold storage.

We double-wrapped Zip and laid him tenderly on top of a nice rump roast. All should have been well and I think it would have been if it wasn’t for the holiday cookie exchange. Ten dozen cookies have to go somewhere and if I didn’t want them to spoil, the freezer was the logical destination. Initially, I nestled the festive tins around his big paws and floppy tail but after a while, shifting Zip became a nuisance every time I needed half a dozen peppermint twists or some nice shortbread. I became less and less careful and before too long, Zip had slipped to the bottom, along with a bag of peas and two freezer-burned chicken breasts.

It was mid-May before we stumbled upon Zip again, when my husband moved some things around while hunting for ice cream. With my daughter home for the summer, we could at last say our final goodbyes, laying Zip to rest under a shady oak tree at the back of the yard. Afterwards, and with heavy hearts, we walked back to the house for some light refreshments; we all had a hankering for a pupsicle.


About the Author:

Karen Hamilton is a freelance writer and the real-life blogger behind The Last of the Momhicans (www.Momhicans.com), a satirical look at what can happen when you accidentally forget to go back to work after having children. She can be reached at Karen@redthreadcommunications.ca.