Erma Bombeck Writing Competition  

Photo of Erma Bombeck
"Hook 'em with the lead. Hold 'em with laughter. Exit with a quip they won't forget." ˜ Erma Bombeck
The Erma Bombeck Writing Competition opens on December 4, 2023, at 8 A.M. (EST)!

2014 First Place - Human Interest - Local

"Every Woman Has A Norman In Her Life" - Written By: Rosalie Bernard - Miamisburg, OH, United States
Every woman has a Norman in her life. My Norman was in my third grade class --- 1948 in Centerville. He had sandy hair, brown eyes, and freckles. I thought he was the smartest and most handsome boy I would ever meet. I watched him each morning as he walked into our classroom wearing a plaid shirt and adorable bib overalls. He would take off his coat and toss his lunch sack up on the coat rack shelf with a certain panache that made my heart flutter.

My crush on Norman was a deep secret until a playground accident exposed my love for him. All the boys were bailing out of the swings when Norman’s feet slipped through the gravel causing some bad scrapes and bruises. He lay there crying while his buddies ran to get our teacher.

I saw my beloved in a sobbing heap on the ground and I ran to him. I was Brenda Starr rushing to her Mystery Man. I was Dale Evans riding through the tumbleweeds to rescue Roy. I was Lois Lane lending strength to Clark Kent.

“Oh, Norman, I won’t leave you,” I cried with all the sincerity I could muster. “The playground bell can ring and I’ll still be here with you.” I dramatically dropped to my knees and knelt beside him with a loving concern that would equal that of Mother Teresa.

He looked at me with his beautiful brown eyes and said, “Go get Mrs. Burnette, stupid.”

Every woman has a Norman in her life. He serves as our first love and our first glimpse of reality. I was no longer Brenda Starr or Dale Evans or Lois Lane. I was a skinny 8-year-old wearing thick glasses, braids and Girl Scout anklets. My dying devotion was not necessary, wanted, or wished for.

Sixty five years have passed. Today I don’t remember Norman’s last name. But I remember Norman. And when my daughters or high school students expressed the pain of reality at times with their own unrequited loves, I was always reminded of him and the fact that every woman has a Norman in her life.



About the Author:

Rosalie is a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a retired high school teacher, an artist and a traveler. She loves being all those things....and especially loves being a writer.