Erma Bombeck Writing Competition - Winners
2008
Erma Bombeck Writing Competition
Honorable Mention
Humor - Global
Linda M. Johnson
Urbana, Ohio
"Where's Grandma?"
| Hide and Seek is a children’s game. My friend, Marilyn and her family evidently identify with the definition of “children.” They’ve also made their own rules for their private game. The game was invented about three years ago shortly after the death of Marilyn’s mother. Marilyn, her brother, and their adult children (three each) divided the inventory of Grandma’s estate until one item remained-- a life-like portrait of Grandma. A simple question became the name of the game, “Who’s going to take Grandma?” Marilyn doesn’t recall any special reason for her mother having the full-length portrait done. She wasn’t the head of a company. It wasn’t done for a monumental birthday. She just wanted a professional portrait. The picture measures about 40 inches tall by 30 inches wide including the attractive frame. A large wall space is in order to give the rendering a proper setting. Possibly to protect the guilty, Marilyn has never shared who took Grandma the first time the question was posed. I have often enjoyed her hearty laugh as she shares Grandma’s latest traveling. The family members take turns surprising others in the family with Grandma’s visits. Last spring the family gathered for a daughter-in-law’s college graduation. Grandma was a surprise visitor not discovered until after the other guests left the party. Grandma was found between the dryer and the wall of the utility room. Grandma has been discovered in car trunks and even on the wall at the local soup kitchen where Marilyn works. Grandma gets around. Marilyn said that she has been passed around seven times. Marilyn’s minister-brother has tried to avoid the fray. He has run to his car and locked the doors to try to avoid Grandma. Possibly because of this, Marilyn debated about Grandma appearing at the hospital where her brother was a patient. She decided against that idea. Marilyn says that Grandma’s movements are done lovingly. The family has established a few rules. Grandma does not move on Christmas – that would be too easy. Marilyn’s son shipped the portrait from his home in Copley, near Cleveland, to a sister’s in Huber Heights. He even paid extra to verify Grandma’s safe arrival. At the moment Grandma has temporarily returned to Copley, Ohio. She is framed by two ornate candlesticks in a very elegant dining room. “Where’s Grandma” has become the family trigger for giggles and scheming. No one knows where Grandma will make her next appearance. This game has been a learning experience for Marilyn’s grandchildren who are already asking, “Who’s going to get you, Grandma?” Marilyn hopes there are many years before anyone asks that question with a similar game in mind. |