Erma Bombeck Writing Competition - Winners
2003
Erma Bombeck Writing Competition
3rd Place - Human Interest Category
Patty Donovan
Plano, Texas
"Lessons in Love"
| Theirs was a mix of teaching, both by example and word. Without the day-in, day-out observance of our parents’ joy-filled commitment, though, any discussion with their children regarding the importance of love, consideration or unselfishness would have been for naught. We children learned while growing up what it meant to be grown-up enough to put someone else before ourselves. Throughout my parents’ marriage of almost 46 years, right up until my father’s death at age 66, what guided their actions and decisions was thoughtfulness – not the tough day at work, nor the bank account’s balance. How lucky we were to have two people so committed to each other as our primary teachers for life lessons, especially regarding one of the trickiest of all arrangements – marriage. Newly married in 1949, my mother set out one day to bake a cherry pie for my dad. Before the days of mega-grocery stores offering ready-made crusts or packaged mixes, the task required more than a measure of deftness and agility. Mom’s first effort was not to her liking. She threw it in the trash – again, years before most kitchen sinks had the convenience of a garbage disposal. Then the 24-year-old bride began the second pie. Again, it fell short of her standards – burnt crust, maybe, or a filling that wouldn’t set. Again, she tossed the contents into the trash and began anew. This – this third effort – met the mark of what she wanted to serve her husband as an unexpected dessert. Twenty-five years later, my mother told this story to one of my older sisters. In the few quiet moments before my sister was to be married, my parents wanted to let her know how happy they were for her, how much they wished the joy of their marriage to be what she would experience. And, so, my mother shared the story of diligence. The message within the memory was that marriage requires sacrifice, effort and sometimes working when you’d rather quit. It means giving your best, repeatedly, because of your shared love and commitment. It also means not whining about the details of the sacrifice, not being a martyr. “All these years,” she finished, “Your father never knew it took me three tries to get that pie right.” Then it was my dad’s turn to instruct. His message focused on appreciation and quiet grace. While his words were few, his message was every bit as clear: “You forget,” he said to my mother, having listened quietly to her tale, “who took out the trash.” |