Erma Bombeck Writing Competition - Winners
2002
Erma Bombeck Writing Competition
1st Place - Global Category
Tracy Gulliver
Chisago City, Minnesota
"Mom O'Nevermind"
| My children have called me various things. As they've changed, so has my title. It began with 'Mama', like a baby bird expecting food whenever it opens its beak. 'Mommy' became the code word for best friend. 'Mom' turned into a casual acquaintance. As they became more independent their call became more about convenience than survival. Then it developed into the two-syllable 'Mo-om!' summons. Recently they've bestowed on me a new title with an Irish lilt to it. They refer to me as Mom O'Nevermind. The first name calls for help, usually from the other end of the house. They can navigate from room to room. Yet they choose to launch their voices with rocket force. Whatever the reason for their immobility, whenever I hear the 'Mom' call, my ears perk to attention. They may wonder where they put their jacket. They may have lost their favorite sweater. They may need my advice or more commonly, my money. As semi-capable, occasionally responsible people on their way to adulthood, they should be able to handle minor matters. Anyone who can get A's in Algebra should be equipped with the problem solving skills required to pick up a sweater off the floor and know that there is a high probability that the skirt they wore with said sweater lay waiting for them underneath. But the key words are semi- and occasionally. They have not quite arrived and still need me at times. Whether they are seeking me out to call on my radar skills, draw from my vast wisdom or from my checkbook, the call to attention requires that I stop in mid-thought or mid-task to attend to their needs or, more likely, their wants. The last 18 years has been a series of incomplete thoughts. Lately all these interruptions are followed by, "Oh, never mind." I don't get a "Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to tend to my wishes and whims." Merely an, "Oh, never mind." I have mixed feelings about my title. It means that my children are gradually realizing that they don't need me as much as they used to. But it's a good indication that I've done my job well and they're learning that they can solve their own problems. While it's hard to fathom sending my child out into the world, the thought becomes more acceptable as they mature and the irritation factor between us increases. I'm convinced that this is nature's way of encouraging children to grow up. Gradually I've come understand the mother bird that kicks her offspring out of the nest. |